When god gives you a toothache, make gold tooth key chains.
Is there anything more distracting and miserable than a toothache? Probably a lot of things, but when you're experiencing one, particularly one that lasts five months, it's hard to believe there are worse things the body - or the face, at least - could endure. Until I finally went in for some dental surgery this past January, teeth were all I could think about for months. And the nightmares, oh god, the nightmares. I think everyone has had that dream where all their teeth fall out; in mine, they rattle around my mouth like Tic Tacs. Some are swallowed, some spit out. I made these key chains to distract myself one afternoon, to help alleviate some of the anxiety I was feeling about being knocked out and having my face sawed into to extract a bitchy wisdom tooth whose roots had practically grown down into my stomach. It didn't help, but here they are.