Ever read a book that was
so bad you just wanted to tear it up into five million pieces and scatter them across the room? Of course you have.
Next time, try this: carefully tear out the pages of that awful, awful book; take the sharp blade of your exacto knife and slice the pages into small triangles...
...feed the triangles (circles would be good, too, but who wants to cut out five million circles?) through your sewing machine and step down on that presser foot with all your might as you think about the hours you wasted reading that crap; seek comfort in that repetitive stabbing sound the needle makes piercing the pages with tiny little holes; and finally, hold up your beautiful creation. Bunting, motherfuckers. String that shit up.
Turn your disappointment into something productive and pretty. Drape the bunting across your bookcase, and let it be an example to all those other wack ass books that have made it onto your shelf. Or, if you can't be bothered to cut out five million little triangles - or simply don't have the heart to cut up books - leave it to me. I made lots. Ten feet of the stuff wrapped around a library card so it won't get tangled, tucked into a library card pocket for convenient storage.
Next time, try this: carefully tear out the pages of that awful, awful book; take the sharp blade of your exacto knife and slice the pages into small triangles...
...feed the triangles (circles would be good, too, but who wants to cut out five million circles?) through your sewing machine and step down on that presser foot with all your might as you think about the hours you wasted reading that crap; seek comfort in that repetitive stabbing sound the needle makes piercing the pages with tiny little holes; and finally, hold up your beautiful creation. Bunting, motherfuckers. String that shit up.
Turn your disappointment into something productive and pretty. Drape the bunting across your bookcase, and let it be an example to all those other wack ass books that have made it onto your shelf. Or, if you can't be bothered to cut out five million little triangles - or simply don't have the heart to cut up books - leave it to me. I made lots. Ten feet of the stuff wrapped around a library card so it won't get tangled, tucked into a library card pocket for convenient storage.
Book Bunting, for sale tomorrow at Nathalie-Roze & Co's Crafternoon Tea!
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